i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
