Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
