I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
