Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
