I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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