White coat. Heels.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
