Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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