Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
