so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My ass is underappreciated
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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