You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
