you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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