I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
