Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
she looked like the before picture.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
