Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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