Four minutes until I can fart!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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