I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
