im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
