Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
