I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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