I'm eating all of the evidence.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
