I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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