i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
