just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
