I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I need moral support for this bender
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
