Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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