We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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