i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize