I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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