lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
