just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
