i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize