It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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