wat bout pragnant strippers??
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
