I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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