"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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