were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i barfeds in our rink
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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