The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
