You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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