R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't put those talents on a resume
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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