She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize