I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The power of my boobs compel you
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
