I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
