i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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