this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
