The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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