and you said cock pushups were impossible
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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