i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
