You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
