she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
