I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
