There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
