Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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