please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
