when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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