You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
