For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
