Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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