Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
