I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
