Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
