I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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