Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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