The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
